I Go Dark Sometimes

In case you haven't noticed, I haven't written in a year. You can call it writer's block and that wouldn't be wrong, but I also tend to hunker in and withdraw when I need to recharge my battery. Those who know me well understand this and somehow (because they are AWESOME), they don't hold it …

Hidden Track

Do you remember the first time you ever heard the hidden track on the Nirvana Nevermind album? It was a super cool discovery. Maybe it was cool because it made me feel like I had to be patient enough to discover it. It was like a REWARD for being zoney, for enjoying ten straight minutes of …

You Know You Have Support When..

I have a Cancer Wall. Yep, it’s in my room across from my bed, and all of my cancer paraphernalia is hanging on it. The Cancer Wall motivates me and keeps me going. There are pink ribbons, signs with inspirational words, a framed painting of a ninja-honey-badger throwing swords, even a vintage vinyl record single …

*Pop*!

My Uncle Govindan is a guru. Seriously, he’s pretty well-known and even has a couple of ashrams. He is a very spiritual man and has such grace about him that when you stand near him you feel lighter some how. My Uncle Paul (Govindan's brother) lives a simple life. He surfs, loves reggae, writes short stories …

You had to be a BIG SHOT, didn’t you?

Have you ever heard the phrase “If we eliminate the source, we eliminate the problem”? That’s kinda how I’m thinking about these Zoladex shots I have to get. Let me explain in a very unscientific way. My former cancer cells had these little antennae-like receptors on them that basically acted like straws. The straws sucked …

I’m the odd woman out – Unless I’m with my Lady.

I'm the only girl in my house and sometimes its really hard to stay feminine. Here's a great example: I've learned that interrupting my boys’ conversations with butt jokes and farts gets me noticed. So much so, in fact, that I’ve started to do that during adult conversations. It doesn’t seem to have quite the same effect on adults. …

Chemo Toe Joe Can’t Do A Lot of Things

One day I was in the shower and I noticed that the skin around my toe was puffy. It wasn't an ingrown toenail, but it was similar, near the cuticle at the bottom of my nail. It didn't look right. It was red and inflamed and had some discoloration. Later that morning it began to ooze. …

A Badass Sword – It’s What Every Breast Cancer Patient Needs

Thank gawd for capitalism and early Halloween catalogs in September. They came just in time for my low white blood cell count. Low white blood cell numbers mean that I've become the girl in a bubble. I haven’t gone out in public because I can’t fight infections, so I’ve accepted the fact that I have …

Drive Thrus – The Best Last Resort

Another side effect of chemotherapy and isolation is flat out rebellion. I’ve risked the hospital already, I’ve been there even. But it doesn’t matter. No matter what the risk, I still want to get out of my house. I have to get out. So I do the minimum and play it safe. I do laps …

Rebellion and Moments of Reason – They Go Together?

One week down, two to go. I’m pretty stir crazy at this point. I’ve basically been pent up in my house for four straight weeks. I had a lapse of reason and gave into temptation only once - I risked it all for coffee with my Boobie Buddy. I was going insane and it was …