Hidden Track

Do you remember the first time you ever heard the hidden track on the Nirvana Nevermind album?

It was a super cool discovery. Maybe it was cool because it made me feel like I had to be patient enough to discover it. It was like a REWARD for being zoney, for enjoying ten straight minutes of silence after the last song ended. A teenager had to be “some kind of special” to endure that kind of quiet.

Or was that just me? Maybe YOU waited for the CD timer or maybe you just heard about the track from a friend and then fast-forwarded. Cheater.

What about the next time you heard it? Did you WAIT for it like I did? I  knew it was coming, but I waited for it anyways. And it always surprised me.

My life between PET scans is like waiting for the hidden track. I know what’s coming, but EVERY time I’m surprised. The three months between PET scans is like that 10 minute wait for the song to suddenly start.

I’ve got limited time. I’ve GOT to enjoy. I scramble in that short time to live to my fullest, just in case the scan comes back all lit up like fireworks.

By the time the day of the PET scan comes, (surprise!) I’m a big ball of nerves.

It’s a bit of torture actually, and I’ve been trying to find ways to find peace and stop the worrying.

Mostly the peace comes from being in the moment, especially when I’m outside in nature. So, the last 3 months have been filled with soul quenching excursions to the coast and to the forest: Monterey for Valentine’s Day, Costanoa (San Mateo Coast) and Big Basin (Redwoods) for an overnight with the hubby and walking/hiking around the East Bay with friends and the kids. I even attended a Kriya Yoga initiation in Santa Monica.

So my life before the hidden track starts is a jam-packed mix that sounds something like Everclear’s “Santa Monica”


The zoney, day-dreamy escape from reality to the coast…

and Will.i.am’s “#thatPower”.


The celebrate life song – it kicks in and you realize, “Quick – before the track starts, you are living NOW!”

 You can listen to the songs on my playlist here.

My next scan is tomorrow. And let me just say that I’m really hoping that Katy Perry’s “Firework” will NOT be the hidden track that’s about to play.


I sort of left you guys hanging with my medical results (sorry). Just so you know, my PET scan came back better than expected and I don’t have to get another one for 6 months (its usually every 3 months, so this is good news). Lucky for me Katy Perry’s Fireworks didn’t make the playlist and there were no new “hidden track” surprises.

I’m not sure if you caught the calendar dates in the last e-newsletter, but I also went thru surgery a few weeks ago – ovaries and tubes out. I essentially got my tubes tied, but not for the those reasons (you know what I mean). Funny to sign the consent forms though. Mike took one for the team a LONG time ago on that issue!

Surgery went well and I’m healing up. I’m just starting to get my strength and energy back this week now that Spring Break is over (of course).

Thanks for all of your sweet emails and comments, guys. XO

5 thoughts on “Hidden Track

  1. Love You and Love Hidden Track! I am visualizing Fireworks being extinguished by sunshine beams and energy “pop” raindrops….yes, I live in Colorado :). Praying for a sucessful scan XOXO


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