Thank gawd for capitalism and early Halloween catalogs in September. They came just in time for my low white blood cell count. Low white blood cell numbers mean that I’ve become the girl in a bubble.
I haven’t gone out in public because I can’t fight infections, so I’ve accepted the fact that I have to stay cooped up in my house for 6 weeks. Until I opened today’s mail.
Inside was a Halloween catalog with a plethora of costumes – many of them with super cool face masks. And that sparked an idea.
I can go out to public places as long as I bring Purell and wear a face mask! This is going to be awesome. Some days will be lower maintenance where I’ll just wear a bandana over my face and a cowboy hat like Annie Oakley. If it’s really hectic, I could just throw on one of Mike’s ski masks and some camo pants. The Rite Aid pharmacist totally won’t think I’m trying to rob the place. I mean, it’s just me under there!
But for all the other days, I’ve ordered something special. In fact, when it arrives I’ve decided that it’s all I’m wearing: the Dragon Fighter Ninja costume. It has everything I need: a facemask, gloves for safety, a hood to cover the bald dome, super smokin’ hot feminine details and a badass sword. Best cancer protective gear on the market. Oh, and I’ll make sure I stand in this position when I pick up my prescriptions.
WHAT’VE YOU GOT TO SAY NOW, RITE AID PHARMACIST?
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