It was an emotional, Spotify playlist kind of day. I listened to albums that make people feel upset and depressed: Foo Fighters (Wasting Light), The Smiths (Louder Than Bombs) and Coldplay (Parachutes). And although the kids enjoyed the irony of the cheerful song Hang the DJ, they decided that there was too much sorrow in the house.
I switched up the sound and decided to play my fave band, Dance Hall Crashers. Their Live Album was super upbeat with rockin’ guitars that made us want to dance. I introduced the boys to their 30 second song, Triple Track and we played it for 2 straight minutes. A 30 second song for 2 minutes? That was just pure silliness.
But it got me thinking – had I been feeling sad? Yes. Usually the music I choose reflects my mood. Doing the skank and air guitaring to DHC lifted my spirits, but inside I was feeling more gloomy and dark like Morrissey.
I’m not sure why. Maybe I’m finally realizing the trauma my body has been put through. It’s tired; I’m tired and that affects me. When my body gets down (and gets tired, not funky) my mood can too. And “music is my aeroplane”, as the Red Hot Chili Peppers would say.
Not to worry. Its not in my nature to stay somber. My usual pattern is to give myself time to be sad and to accept it. Then I get sick of being down and I lift myself up. I remind myself of the good things and begin to feel better.
I’m just waiting for my jukebox to change its tune. That’s when I’ll switch from darkness and sorrow to rockin’, lockin’, pumpin’ and jumpin’.