Chemo Highlights: Days 3-6

Days 3 and 4: Delirium

Day 3:

Christi: Mike? Did you come in my room at 4p and just stand there and hold my hand for like, 15 minutes?

Mike: Ummmm? No?

Christi:  But, I remember a whole conversation about how you were going to make me dinner in an hour and now its 6:00.

Mike: Ummmmm.  Nope.

Day 4:

I dreamed that my friend Melanie was sick and was sleeping under our Christmas tree (to get better?). I was shocked and confused to find upon waking that she was no longer there.

Days 5 and 6: Reality

Day 5 @ 4 a.m.:

My body begins to purge all chemicals in any way, shape or form.  My 4 a.m. “wake-up-call” gives me a view of the night’s sky through my unlit bathroom window.  I can see all the way into the heavens, and I begin to break down at the reality of what I am going through. I cry, hyperventilate and panic at the thought that this might be bigger than me and that there might be other plans for my life.  And, so I look up and beg the universe – God – not to let that happen yet.  Please, God. Not yet.

Day 6 (Christmas Eve) @ 4 a.m.:

I can see a single star in the night’s sky through my bathroom window.  It’s a beacon of light beaming down on me in the dark.  Its peaceful and calm, and its letting me know that at least for today, I’m going to be okay.

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