Days 3 and 4: Delirium
Christi: Mike? Did you come in my room at 4p and just stand there and hold my hand for like, 15 minutes?
Mike: Ummmm? No?
Christi: But, I remember a whole conversation about how you were going to make me dinner in an hour and now its 6:00.
Mike: Ummmmm. Nope.
I dreamed that my friend Melanie was sick and was sleeping under our Christmas tree (to get better?). I was shocked and confused to find upon waking that she was no longer there.
Days 5 and 6: Reality
Day 5 @ 4 a.m.:
My body begins to purge all chemicals in any way, shape or form. My 4 a.m. “wake-up-call” gives me a view of the night’s sky through my unlit bathroom window. I can see all the way into the heavens, and I begin to break down at the reality of what I am going through. I cry, hyperventilate and panic at the thought that this might be bigger than me and that there might be other plans for my life. And, so I look up and beg the universe – God – not to let that happen yet. Please, God. Not yet.
Day 6 (Christmas Eve) @ 4 a.m.:
I can see a single star in the night’s sky through my bathroom window. It’s a beacon of light beaming down on me in the dark. Its peaceful and calm, and its letting me know that at least for today, I’m going to be okay.