Boob Diaries

So last week, before the imPORTant surgery and chemo, Mike and I visited our plastic surgeon. Yes, I have a plastic surgeon now.  Who knew that I would ever have one ofthose? My regular surgeon encouraged us to visit her before we made any final decisions, so that we were well aware of all of our options up front. Pun intended.

She was so kind as to reassure me that there was no judging of patients who wanted an enlargement, or a reduction, even if the cancer was only on one side.  I of course joked with her and said, “Well, since having kids my size has decreased down to a “36A-” , so I think I’d like to be a nice supple “B+”.  Ha, ha ha…Oh, and my good nipple is the one they will have to remove, so I guess I’ll just have to get used to the other one as the new standard (more satirical laughing..Ha, ha ha…).”

So, 45 minutes into the educational lecture of all the types of boob jobs and nipple tatoos I could possibly get it was now time for her  to perform a “diagnostic”.  Mike left the room and she checked out my rack.  As she compared my two boobs, she said very professionally in her medical opinion,

“Well, you know they only make implants so small.  I *think* our smallest implant *might* work. But if you want to match, you are an excellent candidate for a two-sided enhancement.”

Did she just tell me that my boobs are smaller than the smallest implant they make?  Oh, yes she did.

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